I'm jealous of his guitar

I always thought, i would never say these words, i would never feel down, i would never be one of those girls who sigh and mope and get sad. But it happened. Im jealous. I support everything he is doing, i love that he has a goal, a dream, but does he know mine? Hes too busy to know what i like to do, who my role model is, what my dreams are, but i know his. We talk for a bit, then its practice time and when there's no practice, there's a gig.For days i dont hear from him. I miss him, i trust him, I believe in him, but i envy his guitar. He holds it all the time, his songs he sings to it, he takes it with him when hes busy, he knows his guitar. He knows his guitars fears, its dreams, its hopes, it wants to be with him as much as i do. But who wins the battle? Its weird to be jealous, of something that cannot breathe, but yet, i am. I hate his guitar.

Life.

A poem about life.

I have been thinking, here are my thoughts......

There's a giant foot on my neck.
It's called life.
It wont let go till i die.

Sometimes it likes to dance,
when ever times get harder.
And when you feel it letting go,
it just stomps and says "Sucker".

Those moments when you think
"I'm the best"
It comes back down and says
"back to reality, you've had your rest"

Life and money are two close brothers.
If you have one, you should have the other.
If money is your friend, life is your lover.

Life is a gold digger, who loves you when you're stacked.
Once your money goes, her bags are already packed.

Its not the material things, but lets do some math,
No money equals job, job equals working, working equals boss, boss equals stress, stress equals unhappiness, that is your path.
Now divide your paychecks into threes,
with taxes, taxes, and more fees.
You have some money, now what do you do?
You pay bills, rent, and no more for you.

Life is a bitch that works for the government, it'll stand on your neck till you die.
What have we learned from this lesson on life? Stop thinking, and go buy something else.

I use videogames as if it is a drug.

((Kratos ripping the head off of Helios, the sun god))

When i say that, i do not mean it as i play them too much. You can never play them to much. I mean i play them, for the same reason some people use drugs. To escape real life, and to feel good. I realized this today, where i went insane after cleaning my ps2 and my god of war games, and they still didnt work. I was and still am upset. I wanted to play THOSE. I got mad and i was forced to think about life, which i despise doing. I realized that whenever i feel like im about to be depressed, instead of facing the problem and thinking about it, or talking to someone, i turn on my ps2, and get to it. This ps2 wont play my god of wars, and i do not have a ps3. I am refusing to go to prom, because i want a ps3 instead. Plus i do not like my school but still. Prom cost as much as a ps3, i rather get that. Am i wrong? Do i have a problem? I use a video game to make me not think about my problems to the last minute. It sounds like a problem, but it doesnt to some point. I need help with this. This is one thing, i cant use my silver tongue to get out of.

Im not stuck up, i have common sense.

These days, some guys prefer to let their pants hang low, drop em to the flow, make em shine in the light, make them platinum make them gold. W.e. I personally, DESPISE.... i repeat, DESPISE sagging pants. It is not only disgusting to see a guys underwear, which shows his ass print due to the fact the belt around his thighs is tightening his underwear, but it is also gay. Now i know you are thinking "Gay men have better fashion sense than that" But not the flamboyant gay that we all love. I am talking cell block D gay. Most people know that sagging originated in prison, for easy access to men who were taken as "bitches". Now some of these guys who sag do not know it, but others do. And they don't care!! They say "Its freedom of expression, its a fashion sense" What are you expressing?!? That you wanna show every other man you walk by your ass?? Thats what i feel you are expressing! And people say i "must like white boys" cause i rarely look at a black boy who does this. I have to let them know, its not the race, its the person. I hate judging people by how they look, but when i see pants around the thighs, i cannot help but compare them to idiots, and future inmates.

Enjoy the picture of my puppy at the top. Dutch always makes me happy. When hes not beating me up with a slipper.

So i'm sick. Joy.

O.k so as my friends know, i have made a deal with my mother. If i lose weight, i can get a ps3. Bad right? Well i joined a weight loss program in school. I want to lose a certain amount of weight by june. Series of events have prevented me from starting on time. I started late, and i worked out, outside, with this bad weather. I am sick now, and i planned on hitting the gym this week while i was off. Now i am pressured to look at colleges, now that i know what i want to do. I am completely lost as to do, and my brother who says he will help, gets so caught up in his fucking gf and games, that he hasnt helped me once. I just need to find an undergrad school, even if i start late, to get to grad school for veterinarian sciences. I guess i will be fat for a little bit longer. Life is so stressful, i need a vacation.

Why do we do the things we do?

I am new to this blogging thing, so i'll just write what comes to mind, and what is on my mind is a subject that has been brought up alot between people. Why DO we do the things we do? Psychologist say its from our parents, our surroundings, how we were raised, others say genetics. Why is that when you expect someone to do one thing, they surprise you and do something else? You sometimes think it will be like the movies, where they miracolously know what the other person is thinking and what they will do and save them just in time, but the human mind goes far beyond, and sometimes below our standards. What makes us think the things we think? What gives us a sense of common sense? I have seen cases where a person acts exactly like a parent, they havent even met. Now i am beginning to sound like a stoner, but this is a sign i think too much at times. Sometimes my mind goes into a loop, to a point where my head hurts so bad, i need to stop thinking! The human brain is a wonderous thing, and a mind is a terrible thing to waste. Dont you love how i wavered from the topic?